I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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