Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
