Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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