You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
