Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
where are my eyebrows?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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