Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
