That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
