Apparently you make a good broom.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
