You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
