I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
