Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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