I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
