Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Randomize
