She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
