another moral hangover. fuck.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
high people should be assigned attendants
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
