I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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