the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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