Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
how does that bad decision feel?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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