thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
