I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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