he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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