It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
