Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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