I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
