i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
