it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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