this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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