brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
