I want to walk on stilts...naked
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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