1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Say something about gay babies.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
