apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
