I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
