I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
