New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
