I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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