I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
