Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
