she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
