You really coming over, don't trick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
