so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
