I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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