And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
