Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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