Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
