I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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