I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
