Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Im part way to drunk.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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