I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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