I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
