At least make sure they are 18
Why
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
